A Rose, by Any Other Name, Would Smell as Sweet
by Torchie
Summary: The Inu Yasha cast takes a little time off to present to you... Romeo and Juliet! T for language and Shakespeare's... humor. Might take me a while to upload, I'm still writing. Chapter 1 Story Format and Chapter 2 Script format uploaded.
1. Prolouge Script Format

**Prolouge ~**

Welcome one, welcome all!  After reading the wonderful play, _Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare, my friend Rurouni Star and I decided to make it an Inu Yasha epic! _

*cough cough*  Okay, in regular speaking terms, that would be: Beware what you are about to read.  ^-^  Have fun, ne?  And I hope this isn't overused... I got it from my own brain. *points to pile of mush in head*  Well, I had one when school was still going... O.o;  Anyway, read and enjoy!  Oh yes, and review too, if you don't mind ^.~  There are a few things I might have messed up in, personalities, name things (-kuns and -chans and what not), just to let you know... bear with me... 

As for the script format, it was written that way because Rurouni Star-san and I intend to make it into a manga.  However, if you people really insist, I can write it in both script format and story format, but that'll mean two chapters when there's only supposed to be one (as in Chapter 1: Prolouge -- Script Format, Chapter 2: Prolouge -- Story Format, Chapter 3: blah -- Script Format, Chapter 4: blah -- Story Format, etc.)

Disclaimer:  I'm only doing this once! (Only because I'm too lazy to type it out every time ^^;)  I do not own Rurouni Star.  Actually, I wrote this and she's drawing it... we're thinking of eventually turning it into a manga, and-- *death glare from the tall, big lawyer people*  ^^;;; Hai... anou... I do not own William Shakespeare.  I do not own _Romeo and Juliet._  I do not own Inu Yasha, whether it be the anime or the hanyou.  I own... um... what do I own?  Anyway, disclaimer over. ^.^

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_Scene: The cast lounges around an empty stage, as though waiting for someone.  Inu Yasha sits in a corner, cursing to himself.  Miroku and Sango stand to the side of the stage with Shippo, talking quietly.  Kikyo leans on a pillar, away from the others, silent.  Sesshomaru watches Rin chase Kirara around and Naraku sits further away from them, in an audience seat, watching the others.  Toutousai sits quietly near Sango, Miroku, and Shippo, his three-eyed cow blinking at him._

Cow:  Moo~

Everyone:  -.-;

Cow:  *shuts up*

Inu Yasha:  Damn woman.  She's late!  *mutter mutter*

Shippo:  *moves over to him* Inu Ya--

Inu Yasha:  *pounts him with one fist*  Leave me alone -.-

Shippo:  @.@

Sango:  I wonder why Kagome-chan called us all to this strange place.  *tightens hold on boomerang*

Miroku:  I don't know, Sango, but if you're afraid...

Sango:  Don't even ask - -;

Miroku: ^.^;

Naraku:  I certainly never expected _you to come. *looks at Sesshomaru*_

Sesshomaru:  ...

Naraku:  ...

Sesshomaru:  .....

Naraku:  .....

Sesshomaru:  ............

Naraku:  .....................

Sesshomaru:  ......................................!

Rin:  Sesshomaru-sama!  Where is Kagome-'nee-san?

Sesshomaru:  *looks at Rin* ...She's coming.

Naraku:  *cackle*  I win!  I will rule you all!

Kikyo:  Hmp. *dark semi-smile*

Kagome:  *bursts in* Minna~!

Inu Yasha: - -#  You're late.

Kagome:  ^^; Ah, gomen.

Kouga:  Ka...gome... *walking behind her with papers to the ceiling*

Kagome:  Just a little further, Kouga-kun!

Inu Yasha:  *sees Kouga*  Heh heh heh...

Sango:  Kagome-chan... what did you call us here for?

Kagome:  I have a great idea!  We're going to put on the famous play _Romeo and Juliet!_

Everyone:  *confused silence*

Shippo:  What's that?

Kagome:  It's an English play written by William Shakespeare.  We're reading it in school.

Naraku:  Does it involve violence?

Kagome:  Yes, but it's mostly a romance ^-^

Everyone:  ................O.o;;;

Rin:  Sesshomaru-sama, what's a 'romance'?

Sesshomaru:  .....

Kagome:  Oh yes, Kouga-kun, please put those over here...

Kouga:  *does so* Whew.

Kagome:  ...and get the next load.

Kouga: (o.o) (_ _#)

Kagome:  I've all ready assigned parts.  Some of you will play two parts.  Some characters will be missing, but a few others from the feudal ear have agreed to fill those in.  Inu Yasha, you're Romeo.  *hands him a script 3 inches thick*

Inu Yasha:  ?!??!

Kagome:  I will be Juliet, of course.  Miroku-sama, you'll be Tybalt and Lord Capulet.  Sango-chan, you're the nurse and Lady Montague.  Sesshomaru, you are Mercutio and Lord Montague, Kikyo, you're Lady Capulet and Rosaline, Naraku, you're Prince Escalus, Toutousai, you are Friar Laurence.  Rin-chan, you are Balthasar and my assistant.  Shippo-chan, you're my assistant too, okay?  *distributes scripts*

Kouga:  *comes in with second load of papers piled to ceiling*

Inu Yasha:  *scoots closer to Kouga, snickering*

Kagome:  Ah, Kouga-kun, you play Paris and Benvolio!  Oh, put those here, too.

Kouga:  *slowly walking over*

Inu Yasha:  Heh heh heh...  *sharpens claw, squats right by Kouga*

Kouga:  O_o;

Inu Yasha:  *reaches out to jab him in the arm*

Kouga:  O.O;;;;;

Kagome:  Inu Yasha!

Inu Yasha:  O.O  *turns around slowly*

Kagome:  ^-^ Could you help me distribute these?

Inu Yasha:  *breath of relief*  ...Hai...

Kouga:  *snicker* You slaved man.

Inu Yasha:  -.- Look at you!

Kouga: .....

Kagome:  Everyone please look over their lines!  We'll be having rehearsals every other day, and the play will be in a month.  We'll all need our parts memorized by then.

Sesshomaru:  *glancing through script*  ...I refuse to do this part.  *rips script neatly in half*

Kouga:  NO!!!  *runs to collect the halves*

Kagome:  Why?

Sesshomaru:  They are vulgar and a waste of words.

Kagome:  *sigh* Which part?

Sesshomaru:  This being named "Mercutio."

Kagome:  So you'll be Lord Montague?

Sesshomaru:  If I must.

Kagome:  Okay, you can be Tybalt and Miroku-sama will be Mercutio.  Do you mind, Miroku-sama?

Miroku:  Iie, that's fine.

Kagome:  Is that okay, Sesshomaru?

Sesshomaru:  Any part is better than this "Mercutio."  *script trade*

Kagome:  Anything else?

Inu Yasha:  Who the hell is this Romeo?  He's not a man, he's some sappy weakling!  Mooning over a girl!  Feh!  And this balcony thing?!

Kagome: ...Fine.  Kouga-kun, will you please be Romeo?  He's a nicer, sweeter man than you anyway, Inu Yasha... and I'm sure he's a better kisser, too.  Sour mouths like yours are bad.

Inu Yasha:  o.O  O-oi!  _Kisser?!_

Kagome:  Mm hmm.  Ne, Kouga-kun?

Kouga:  Huh?  *looks at her*  Uh... hai... whatever you say, Kagome, I agree.

Kagome:  ^-^ Kouga-kun...

Inu Yasha: o.o Oi!  I-I'll be Romeo!  I _refuse_ to let you be kissed by him!

Kouga:  -.- Hey--

Miroku:  What about me? *pops up with a charming smile*

Inu Yasha: -.- *pound pound*

Miroku: *big bump on head, slides away*

Kouga:  .....Hey--

Kagome:  _Let_ me be kissed by him?!  You don't care, right?  *smirk*

Inu Yasha:  I... uh... *turns around*  Feh.  I'll be your damned Romeo, okay?!

Kagome:  ^-^  Gomen, Kouga-kun.  But thank you for helping me.

Kouga:  Of course ^.~

Inu Yasha: - -# *growl growl*

Miroku:  *to Kikyo*  I guess that since I'm Lord Capulet and you're Lady Capulet, we're hooked up, huh?  *wink wink... wandering hand...*

Kikyo: ...Touch me and die.

Miroku:  *sigh* What is wrong with all the women here?

Sango:  Kagome-chan... why am I Sesshomaru's _wife?!_

Sesshomaru: - -;; You're not an ideal spouse either.

Kagome:  Well... it just worked out like that... oh, and Sesshomaru, Inu Yasha is your son when you're Lord Montague, so--

Inu Yasha:  NANI?!  Like _hell_ I'm his son!

Kagome:  Osuwari.

Inu Yasha:  *thump* #####

Kagome:  So you have to be nice to him.

Sesshomaru: ...

Kagome: .  This is going to be a lo~ng month...

~End Prolouge~

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Short Japanese dictionary of terms (I only know minimal Japanese, not even enough to help me survive in Japan, so bear with me ^^;;):

Hai ~ Yes.

Anou ~ Something like "um".

Kagome-'nee-san ~ I'm not sure if Rin actually calls Kagome that, but it's directly translated as Ms. Kagome older sister.  The -san is politeness, 'nee is short for onee, which means older sister.  Rin's calling Kagome sort of an older female figure person, respectfully... well, you get the idea...

Minna ~ Everyone.  I'm not sure I spelled that right...

Gomen ~ Sorry or I'm sorry.

-Kun ~ A sort of familiarity, usually reserved for guys.  I'm not too clear on exactly what it is, because my friend said it also can be used for something like a business leader or something... @@ Go look it up... but Kagome calls him that.

-Sama ~ It usually means "Master", but in for Kagome and Miroku, and Sesshomaru and Rin's case, it's sort of a really respectful title.

-Chan ~ A familiarity usually reserved for girls or younger males, like Shippo.  It's sort of a 'cutesy' name, and can be something a person adds to their girlfriend/boyfriend's name.

Iie ~ No.  Not sure if I used it correctly in that case ^^;

Feh ~ Not a Japanese word, I don't think... if you've watched Inu Yasha, you should know what this is.  Basically his "I don't give a damn" word.

Ne ~ Uh... don't know exactly... it's untranslatable (is that a word?).  In this case, it's kind of like, "Right, Kouga-kun?"

Oi ~ Hey! 

Nani ~ What (as in What? or WHAT?!)

Osuwari ~ Please tell me you know this... "Sit."


	2. Prolouge Story Format

**Prolouge ~**

Due to popular demand, I have now typed this up in story format!  I hope those of you who don't like script format can enjoy this one more ^-^  Please don't kill me if I get a few descriptions wrong, like clothes and such.

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It was unusually bright in the large room, as not only the stage lights but also the lights lining the smooth, hard walls of the theater were on.  The scarlet, velvety curtains were drawn back, held in place by thick golden tassles that trailed to the floor.  However, there was no show going on, no crowd to cheer or clap or boo, no actors or actresses reciting soliloquies.  Instead, eleven people sat apart, spaced evenly along the stage and the surrounding area.  Or were they people, really?

"Moo~" a three-eyed cow brayed into the quietness.  The other ten turned around and glared at the absurd-looking creature, and it fell silent.  An old man, leaning on a stick near the cow, sighed and patted the thing's back.  Toutousai, the maker and fixer of swords, mumbled to himself, blinking with his cow out at the other people.

A young man in red clothes sat cross-legged upon the cold stage floor.  Arms and legs crossed, he muttered curses to himself, ears twitching and listening for a certain sound.  Silver dog ears.  "Damn woman.  She's late!" he grouched loudly, making an irritated face, just like the expression he wore on a daily basis.  Shippo tottered over to him, fox-tail waving as he moved away from the priest and youkai exterminator just a few feet away.

"Inu Ya--" the small fox youkai started before he was very abruptly and rather rudely cut off by a pound to the head.

"Leave me alone," the hanyou snapped as he removed his fist from the boy's head.  Making a high-pitched whining sound, Shippo toppled over, circles in his eyes.

The youkai exterminator tightened her hold on the boomerang she carried slung across her back.  She was dressed in a kimono-style dress, with green and red embroideries.  "I wonder why Kagome-chan called us to this strange place..." Sango murmured softly the priest next to her.  He bore a long staff, topped with a gold design, and wore black and purple robes as well as a rosary around his right hand, which sealed the curse his family had -- the Air Void.  However, this curse may have caused him to be lecherous... or perhaps he was that way by nature.

"I don't know, Sango," Miroku replied thoughtfully with a smile, "but if you're afraid..."  He winked suggestively.

"Don't even ask," she snapped, narrowing her eyes at him.  He gave her a sheepish smile, as though he were completely innocent of perverted thoughts.

Further away, seated in an audience seat a few rows from the stage, was a tall, dark-haired man.  It was one of the rare times when he wasn't dressed in a white and blue monkey suit, and he crossed his legs as he gazed at the equally tall, silver-haired man in the open area before the stage.  Naraku watched as a little girl that the silver-haired man seemed to be so fond of chased a small, cat-like creature with more than one tail.  "I certainly never expected _you_ to come," Naraku said.

Sesshomaru took his eyes away from Rin, who looked was safe enough chasing Kirara around, and settled them with his usual cold stare upon the smirking man in the seat.  "..."

Raising a delicate eyebrow, Naraku stared back.  "..."

"....."

"......"

"................"

"..............................."

"..........................................................!"

The small girl stopped her frolicking and tugged lightly upon the silver-haired man's sleeve.  "Sesshomaru-sama!  Where is Kagome-'nee-san?"

He glanced down at her, expression warming just slightly.  "...She's coming," he replied, breaking the little "war" they were having.

Naraku cackled in victory.  "I win!" he announced.  "I will rule you all!"

From a pillar at the side of the stage, came a, "Hmp," as a tall woman with long, black hair gave a dark semi-smile at the idea that Naraku could ever rule her.  As usual, she was dressed in the white shirt and red pants of a miko.  Kikyou leaned against the pillar, shifting the position of the quiver of arrows on her back.

Just then, the door at the side of the theater burst open, letting in a stream of sunlight as well as a girl wearing a white and green school uniform.  "Minna~!" Kagome called, running down the aisle to the stage.  Behind her staggered a tall man in strange, brown and black clothes, carrying a large stack of papers that nearly touched the ceiling and somehow made it through the small door.

Inu Yasha jumped up, glaring at her, a tick mark appearing at the side of his silver-haired head.  "You're late," he accused.

"Ah hah hah... gomen," she replied noncommittedly, waving it away with a smile and a sweatdrop.

"Ka... gome..." the man behind her said, obviously weighted by his load.

"Just a little further, Kouga-kun!" Kagome told him encouragingly.  Spying the wolf youkai that was one of his many sworn enemies as well as an unadmitted rival for Kagome, Inu Yasha snickered, plots forming in his head.

"Kagome-chan," Sango greeted the girl.  "...What did you call us here for?"  She and the others walked over to make a loose circle around the girl.  Shippo ran over, jumping onto Kagome's shoulder, and Kirara to Sango's side.

"I have a great idea!" Kagome informed them cheerily.  "We're going to put on the famous play, Romeo and Juliet!"  They all looked at her in confused silence, having not the slightest idea what she was talking about.

"What's that?" Shippo finally ventured to ask.

"It's an English play written by William Shakespeare.  We're reading it in school."

Still seated, Naraku called over, "Does it involve violence?"

"Yes, but it's mostly a romance."  She smiled, not noticing as everyone gathered sweatdrops on their heads.

"Sesshomaru-sama, what's a 'romance'?" Rin asked, looking up at the youkai.  He didn't reply, deciding he would tell her when she got older.  She blinked in confusion and finally shrugged it off and looked at Kagome again.

"Oh yes, Kouga-kun, please put those over here..." Kagome instructed him.  He did so, giving a sigh of relief.  He might be a strong youkai, but a ton of papers was a lot for one man to be carrying,

"...and get the next load."

Kouga fell to the floor with a crash, face first into the carpet.

Ignoring that, Kagome continued, "I've all ready assigned parts.  Some of you will play two parts.  Some characters will be missing, but a few others from the feudal ear have agreed to fill those in.  Inu Yasha, you're Romeo."  She took a script three inches thick out of the pile and handed it to him.  He took it, looking at it with question marks surrounding his head.  "I will be Juliet, of course.  Miroku-sama, you'll be Tybalt and Lord Capulet.  Sango-chan, you're the nurse and Lady Montague.  Sesshomaru, you are Mercutio and Lord Montague, Kikyo, you're Lady Capulet and Rosaline, Naraku, you're Prince Escalus, Toutousai, you are Friar Laurence.  Rin-chan, you are Balthasar and my assistant.  Shippo-chan, you're my assistant too, okay?"  She began distributing the rest of the scripts to those surrounding her as Kouga came in with a second pile of papers, still ceiling-high.

Seeing him, Inu Yasha gave another snicker and scooted somewhat subtly closer to the wolf youkai, not even pretending to be examining his script.

"Kouga-kun, you play Paris and Benvolio!" Kagome informed him, waving him over.  "Put those here, too, please."  She returned to giving out scripts, not seeing Inu Yasha make his way ever closer to Kouga.

"Heh heh heh..."  Sharpening a claw on his hand, Inu Yasha squatted, waiting for Kouga to pass by.  The glint off the claw alerted Kouga, who's eyes widened.  He continued regretfully down the aisle, sweatdrops appearing all over his head as his eyes widened even more when he neared Inu Yasha, who reached out to jab him viciously in the arm.

"Inu Yasha!"  Kagome's voice cut through the air.  The hanyou's eyes widened and he froze, just knowing the word he would hear.  Turning slowly, he looked at her.

"Could you help me distribute these?" she asked, oblivious to his plot.  

Breathing a sigh of relief, he said, "Hai..."

Kouga snickered.  "You slaved man," he said with a shake of his head.

Glaring back at him, Inu Yasha snapped, "Look at you!"

"......"

"Everyone, please look over your lines!  We'll be having rehearsals every other day, and the play will be in a month.  We'll all need our parts memorized by then," Kagome told them, finally finished giving out scripts.

Sesshomaru glanced through his part, flipping randomly.  His eyes fell upon a part of Mercutio's, when the man was rambling about Queen Mab, and his expression didn't even change as he drawled disgustedly, "I refuse to do this part."  Ripping the script neatly in half, he let the papers go, looking at Kagome.

"NO!!!" Kouga cried.  His labor... gone in a second.  He dove in to save the two halves and sat in a dark corner, with depressed symbols over him, taping the script back together.

"Why?" Kagome asked.

"They are vulgar and a waste of words," Sesshomaru answered levelly.

Sighing, she questioned, "Which part?"

"This being named 'Mercutio.'"

"So you'll be Lord Montague?"

"If I must."

"Okay, you can be Tybalt and Miroku-sama will be Mercutio.  Do you mind Miroku-sama?"  The schoolgirl glanced over at the monk, who was half-diligently looking through his own part with a raised eyebrow.

"Iie, that's fine," he responded, looking up with a smile.

"Is that okay, Sesshomaru?"

"Any part is better than this 'Mercutio.'"  The two traded scripts, the now-taped copy somehow back in Sesshomaru's hands.

"Anything else?" Kagome asked all the others, not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Who the hell _is_ this Romeo?" Inu Yasha demanded, gloweing at the script.  "He's not a man, he's some sappy weakling!  Mooning over a girl!  Feh!  And this balcony thing?!"  He continued pointing out places where Romeo was a romantic rather than chopping off people's heads, like the hanyou would prefer to do.

"...Fine," Kagome cut him off.  "Kouga-kun, will you please be Romeo?"  She smiled up at the man, then turned back to look at Inu Yasha.  "He's a nicer, sweeter man that you anyway, Inu Yasha... and I'm sure he's a better kisser, too.  Sour mouths like yours are bad."  She held lightly onto Kouga's arm.  The wolf youkai blushed, looking down at her.

"O-oi!  _Kisser_?!" Inu Yasha repeated, eyes going wide.

"Mm hmm.  Ne, Kouga-kun?"  She gave the youkai a half-angelic, half-seductive smile, head tilted up to look into his eyes as she held his arm.

"Huh?"  Lost in blushing, he hadn't really heard what they had said.  "Uh... hai... whatever you say, Kagome, I agree."

She smiled happily, holding on to him a little tighter.  "Kouga-kun..."

"Oi!" Inu Yasha growled.  "I-I'll be Romeo!  I _refuse to let you be kissed by him!"  He gave Kouga a condescending look._

Kouga glared back.  "Hey--"

"What about me?" Miroku asked, popping up behind Inu Yasha with a charming smile.  "I wouldn't mind--"

His answer was a severe pounding to the head by the hanyou.  With a somewhat pained smile now, the monk receded away, a large bump on his head.

"..."  Kouga shook his head, then glared at Inu Yasha again.  "Hey--" he started again.

"_Let me be kissed by him?!" Kagome demanded, interrupting Kouga.  Then, her annoyed expression melted into a smirk.  "You don't care, right?"_

"I... uh..."  Turning red and making a disgusted face, he turned his back to them.  "Feh.  I'll be your damned Romeo, okay?!"  His eyes were closed in contempt.

Smiling happily now, Kagome said, "Gomen, Kouga-kun.  But thank you for helping me."  She hugged his arm.

"Of course," he replied with a wink, grinning as Inu Yasha growled from his position further away, a deadly tick mark appearing upon his head.

"So..." Miroku said, the bump now gone from his head, as he turned away from watching the group.  "I guess that since I'm Lord Capulet and you're Lady Capulet, we're hooked up, huh?"  He winked suggestively at Kikyou, who stood by him.  His hand went wandering towards her...

"Touch me and die."

Pulling his hand back from Kikyou, the monk sighed.  "What is wrong with all the women here?" he asked himself.  "A handsome man such as myself..."  He went on murmuring, contemplating the problem with all the women, as if normal women wouldn't mind being groped.

"Kagome-chan," one of those apparently abnormal women, Sango, said.  "Why am I Sesshomaru's wife?!"

"You're not an ideal spouse either," Sesshomaru informed her lowly, irritated sweatdrop upon his head.

"Well..." Kagome replied with a sweatdrop and a smile.  "It just worked out like that..."  She put her two index fingers together nervously, looking down at them.  Then, a thought came to her mind, and she looked up at Sesshomaru.  "Oh, and Sesshomaru, Inu Yasha is your son when you're Lord Montague, so--"

"NANI?!" Inu Yasha jumped in.  "Like hell I'm his son!"

"...Osuwari."

The hanyou was pulled face first into the nice, pretty, expensive carpet of the theater floor, an overly large tick mark on the side of his head.

"So," Kagome continued, "you have to be nice to him."  Sesshomaru didn't reply, but looked at her with an arched brow.  She sighed, making a face.  "This is going to be a lo~ng month..."

~End Prolouge~

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I hope you liked that better ^-^  If you need translations, look on the first page, at the bottom.  Please review!  And I'm sorry this is all I have to offer, I'm still playing with the idea of whether or not to spend a chapter on the rehearsal a week before the play or just start off with the play.  This is going to take a reeeeeeeally long time and I'm really busy now... rearranging my life and other things... so please just bear with me!  I will write eventually... oh, and if you could tell me whether you want me to go to the rehearsal or not that would be great... maybe make suggestions?  This IS for you, after all ^ ^  Thankies~!


	3. Chapter 1 Script Format

**Chapter 1: A Week Before Opening Night ~**

Halo~~~ I'm back again!  Yes, finally, after a long, grueling time, I have birthed the first true chapter!  *ahem*  I was on a house-hunting "vacation," and it was very very boring, in truth.  That is what it takes to make me get over my writer's block/laziness.  But be overjoyed, for this chapter is extremely long.

I didn't get to do this before, but here it is.  If you are wondering where your review went, I have no idea... gomen nasai. *bow bow*  I think fanfiction.net ate it.  Review again, and hopefully it will stay this time!

kurama's Gal-san ~ ^-^ I'm glad you like it!  I was kind of worried about whether it would be funny or not, I'm not too confident of my humorous or angsty writing abilities.

shmo-san ~ I know, it's so surprising, I would never have guessed that osuwari meant sit, considering she yells it and then he falls face first into the ground!  ^^;  Sarcasm is fun.  Anyway, I'm updating now!  Hope you like it!  And I have typed it in story form, see?  I'm working on the one for this chapter too... hopefully I can finish it soon!  And as for the Miroku x Sango idea, I did want to put that in Rurouni Star-san insisted that Sango be the nurse, so I couldn't make her anything else that would match with Miroku because of who is in what scene.

Lady Clearshadow-san ~ Down, moogle.  Do you speak any language other than "kupo"? .  Thank you for the information!  I think "ne" means more than "hey," though... but Japanese is so hard to directly translate.

Chelsea Clevenger-san ~ O.o; I know the feeling.  Parents seem to want to know everything you're doing, don't they?  But thank you... you really can't find anything wrong with it?  Yatta~

Kasazona-san ~ I'm glad you like it!  And I've written more, see?

depressed-girl001-san ~ ^^;; Well, I'm not sure it was as soon as possible, but it was as soon as I could get over my laziness... does that count?  And I do intend to write it in both script and story format, so you can choose whichever one you want.

Inu-girl-san ~ Thank you for your suggestions!  ^-^ I actually followed your advice for the rehearsals. *points to title* See?  I've done theater before, too, and it's really annoying if the background is too elaborate because it takes away from the foreground, which is where you're really supposed to concentrate.  I'll keep that in mind~

Kagome look-alike-san ~ It comes out... now! ^^;;

psychobunny410-san ~ Thank you for your suggestion, but I all ready wrote it... I hope you don't mind? ^^;

Purin-onee-sama ~ ^-^ I couldn't resist.  And Rurouni Star-san all ready drew some stuff... but we've yet to get together and edit and whatnot.  I promise we'll do it... eventually... O.o;

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_Scene:  The cast stands on stage.  Everyone is watching Kagome and Toutousai... "converse."  Kagome is waving her hands around, looking irritated as Toutousai calmly explaisn something to her.  Inu Yasha is no where to be seen._

Kagome:  What do you MEAN you can't come to the play?!

Toutousai:  I have to work... it's important.  I have to fix a sword.

Kagome:  _What_ sword?  *looks at him suspiciously*

Toutousai:  ...Tetsusaiga.

Kagome:  _Inu Yasha... _*deadly look in eyes, glares at a curtain to the side.  Curtain crumbles to ashes*

Inu Yasha:  *is revealed hiding behind the curtain, sitting cross-legged with his back turned to them*

Kagome:  I...n...u... Y...a...s...h...a...

Inu Yasha: o.o;  Hai...?

Kagome:  _Why _is Toutousai-'jii-san missing the play to fix Tetsusaiga?

Inu Yasha: .....

Kagome:  You got into another fight, didn't you?  Couldn't you have just concentrated on the play for once?!

Inu Yasha:  *whirls around, standing angrily*  I had to!  This play is such a damn waste of my time!  It's boring and doesn't help us at all.  And besides, that kusou ohkami was just _asking_--

Kagome:  Ohkami?!  You got in a fight with Kouga-kun?!

Inu Yasha: O.o;;; Oops...

Kouga:  o.O;;; Bakayaro!

Kagome:  Why does Tetsusaiga need to be fixed?

Inu Yasha:  It got cracked, okay?!

Kouga:  *snicker*  And the _hanyou _got his ass kicked.

Inu Yasha:  You're just lucky we were interrupted.  I still have my claws and I can still kick _your_ kusou ohkami--

Kagome:  - -;  Inu Yasha.

Inu Yasha: O_o

Kagome:  Osuwari.

Inu Yasha:  *thump* -.-

Kagome:  And Kouga-kun...

Kouga:  Hai...?

Kagome:  *thinks: They all need rosaries...*  What happened?

Kouga:  Dog-crap here--

Inu Yasha:  Oi, kimi!  *glares at him*  Even as a hanyou I could--

Kagome:  Osuwari.

Inu Yasha;  *face connected to floor*  Why aren't you mad at _him?!_

Kagome:  I am.

Kouga:  o.o Kagome... I beg your forgiveness... *takes her hand*  I am sorry for disrupting your play.  ((Everyone say, "AWWW!"))

Kagome:  I forgive you, Kouga-kun ^-^

Inu Yasha:  OI!!!  Get your dirty hands _off her!!_

Kouga:  Hey, she's my woman!

Inu Yasha:  Like hell she is!

Kagome:  Inu Yasha.

Inu Yasha:  O.o

Kagome:  Kouga-kun.

Kouga:  Hai...?

Kagome:  *sighs* Please... could you stop fighting?  Two weeks is all I ask.  _Please_?!

Kouga:  *glares at Inu Yasha*  Sure.

Inu Yasha:  *glares back*  Feh.

Kaede:  Inu Yasha.

Inu Yasha:  Kaede-ba-ba?!

Kaede:  Still acting up, even when you're not fighting?

Kagome:  Kaede-'baa-chan!  Why are you here?

Kaede:  I came to replace Toutousai.  As you can see, he is no longer present.

Kagome:  When did he leave...?  *shakes head*  You're really going to replace him?

Kaede:  Hai.

Kagome:  Hontou ni?

Kaede:  Yes, I can do it.  Unless you don't need my help?

Kagome:  Iie, iie.  ^^  Arigatou.

Sesshomaru:  May we start, or shall I leave you to waste your time?

Kagome:  Let's start rehearsal, minna!  Today we'll be working on the romance scenes.  Everyone, places please!  We'll start at Act I, Scene 5, the first romance scene.  Shippou-chan, take over as director today, please?

Shippou:  *hops to a chair on the first row, middlemost seat*  Hai!  Okay, everyone, backstage.  *waves a roll of paper as everyone moves off stage*  Scene start!

_Curtain goes up, revealing a few chairs and a large open space.  Lights brighten and a multitude of people are seen on stage, with two front and center, in the spotlight._

Wolf-man Patch*:  This is so cool!  Being in a play with Kouga...

Wolf-man Spike*:  And Kagome-'nee-san.

Shippou:  - -;  Just say your lines.

Patch:  But I'm not "Servant 1."

Spike:  Me neither.

Shippou:  *squeak*  Where's "Servant 1"?!  Who's supposed to be "Servant 1"?!

_A wind stirs in the theatre, blowing wildly.  From it, a white feather descends.  Someone leaps off, and the wind stills._

Kagura:  Yo.

Wolves:  O.O  *backing away from her*

Kouga:  Kisama... *growling as he looks out*

Naraku:  *peering from other side of curtain, along with most of the cast*  Kagura.  Why are you here?  Disobeying me again? 

Kagura:  Iie.  I am "Servant 1."

Wolves:  *still backing away*  U-u-usou...

Kouga:  Kagome...!

Kagome:  ^^;;; Gomen ne, Kouga-kun... but... she was the only one I could think of that was old enough and hadn't... well... been killed.

Kagura:  So, shall we begin?

Shippou:  H-hai... Scene start!

_The three say their lines, the two wolf youkai still a good distance away from Kagura.  They exit and the lights dim for a brief moment.  Black shadows are seen moving, then the lights go back on, brighter than before and with a golden glow.  Miroku, Kikyou, Kagome, Sanga, and the same multitude of people are seen on stage.  Miroku and a guest, played by a man from the village, trade lines as Inu Yasha slinks on stage, sneaking around and stealing looks in Kikyou's direction._

Inu Yasha:  *dreamy look*

Miroku:  *glances at Inu Yasha, whispers*  You're supposed to be looking at _Kagome-sama now..._

Inu Yasha:  Huh?  *blinks*

Miroku:  *indicates Inu Yasha's script*

Inu Yasha:  Oh... feh.  *glances at Kagome, then looks at random person in crowd*  What lady's that... What the hell?!  I don't understand a thing I'm saying!

Kagome:  *trying not to sound irritated*  Just... say... it...

Inu Yasha:  Why can't these people talk _normally?!_

Shippou:  Inu Yasha, say it!

Inu Yasha:  Urusai.

Shippou.  I'm the director!  *waves a roll of paper*

Inu Yasha:  Feh.  What lady's that which doth enrich the hand of yonder knight?

Shippou:  Put some emotion into it!

Inu Yasha:  *is instantly at his side*  I don't take orders from puny youkai like you...

Shippou:  *sticks out tongue*  At least I'm not a hanyou.

Inu Yasha:  *tick mark on head, pounds him with a fist... several times*

Shippou:  @.@  Aah...

_They get through their lines, only because Inu Yasha is reading and not thinking about the words he says.  Sesshomaru enters, looking impassively bored, and speaks without fiery temper, but with conviction, then exits._

Inu Yasha:  *walks over to Kagome, muttering his lines unromantically*

Kagome:  - -;  Inu Yasha...

Inu Yasha:  What?!  I'm saying the lines!

Kagome:  But you're ruining the romantic atmosphere!

Inu Yasha:  _What romantic atmosphere?!_

Kouga:  Let _me_ do it.  *walks over and takes Inu Yasha's script, then takes Kagome's hand*  If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentler sin is this:  My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.  *kisses her hand*

Kagome:  *blushing*  Kouga-kun...

Miroku:  See?  _That's how you're supposed to do it, Inu Yasha._

Inu Yasha:  *throbbing tick mark*  Get your paws off her, kusou ohkami!!

Kouga:  At least I can act, baka!

Inu Yasha:  I can act!

Miroku:  Not... particularly...

Inu Yasha:  Urusai... I can act, all right?!

Kagome:  Maybe Kouga-kun should be Romeo instead...

Inu Yasha:  Nani?!  I'm not going to let him put his dirty paws on you!

Kouga:  But I can act, and the baka can't.

Inu Yasha:  Who's the baka, kusou ohkami?!  *grabs the script and then holds Kagome's hand, says the lines with a romantic air*

Everyone:  *stunned*

Kagome:  Inu Yasha... *dreamy eyes*

Inu Yasha:  *looks away*  Feh.  I said before that I'd be your damn Romeo.

Kagome:  Inu Yasha...

Kouga:  -.-  *walks away*

Shippou:  All right, let's get back to rehearsal!

_They say their lines, only pantomiming kissing scenes, with Inu Yasha speaking somewhat romantically.  They finish the scene._

Shippou:  Ah... eh... what scene now, Kagome?

Kagome:  Act II, Scenes 1 and 2.

Shippou:  *waves roll of paper*  Okay, Act II, Scenes 1 and 2!  Places!!

Inu Yasha:  - -;;;  I can't believe I'm taking orders from _him.  *moving with everyone to backstage*_

Shippou:  Scene start!

_Curtains open, revealing a practically bare stage with dim lights and Inu Yasha alone on stage.  He states his lines and leaps to the other side of the stage as Kouga and Miroku enter._

Kouga:  Romeo, my--  Wait, why am I that baka's cousin?!

Shippou:  *waves arms*  Kouga...

Kagome:  Onegai, Kouga-kun...

Kouga:  - -#  Romeo, my cousin Romeo.

Miroku:  He is wide, and on my wife hath stolen him home to wed.

Kagome:  What?  *looks out*  Miroku-sama...

Miroku:  That's what it says!  *holds up a script that is taped back in half*

Kagome:  o.o  *sighs*  The line is, "He is wise, and on my life hath stolen him home to bed."

Miroku:  ^^;  Gomen... *says lines*

_They speak and the scene finished.  Lights dim and there is movement on stage.  Then the lights brighten once more to reveal Kagome standing on a wide ledge and Inu Yasha standing on the ground below her._

Inu Yasha:  Where's my script?  I just had it!!

Shippou:  Kukuku... *scribbling, back turned to them*

Kagome:  Rin-chan, Shippou-chan, can you find Inu Yasha's script?  *sighing for the millionth time*

Shippou:  Ku~  Here it is!  *holds it up*  It was over here.

Inu Yasha:  *suspicious eyes*  How did it get over there?

Shippou:  *shrugs*

Kagome:  Just get it so we can start...

Inu Yasha:  - -;  *jumps over, snatches it, and leaps back*

Shippou:  *covering snickers*  S-scene start!

Inu Yasha:  He jests at scars that never felt a wound.  *looks up*

Sango:  He's actually trying... *whispering to Miroku*

Miroku:  Scary, isn't it?  ^.^

Sango:  *hits him on the head... hard*  ((Can you guess what he was doing?))

Inu Yasha:  Soft butt...

Miroku:  *stifling laughter*

Kagome:  - -;  Inu Yasha...

Shippou:  *trying not to look suspicious*

Inu Yasha:  ...beyond which light wind breaks...

Naraku:  *cackling*

Sesshomaru:  *trying to maintain composure and not smile*

Sango:  O.o;;;

Rin:  *blink*  Sesshomaru-sama...

Sesshomaru:  Not now, Rin.

Rin:  ???

Inu Yasha:  ...through yonder window...

Kouga:  *snickering*

Kagome:  _Inu... Yasha..._  *large tick mark*

Inu Yasha:  Nani?!??!

Kagome:  *deadly look*

Miroku:  *whispers*  Think about what you just said...

Inu Yasha: ...*read back over script*  o.O;  Ch-ch-ch-chotto, Kagome!  It says it on here!  I just--

Kagome:  _OSUWARI!!  Osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Inu Yasha:  *surrounded by plumes of dust, face in the middle of a large pit in the floor of the stage*

Miroku:  *holds his hand up and murmurs a prayer of blessing to the dearly departed hanyou*

Inu Yasha:  *jumps up and hits him*  I'm not dead yet!!  *glares at Kagome, face red*  #######  What the hell is your problem?!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Kagome:  What the hell were you saying?!

Inu Yasha:  What was on the damn script!!!  *waves the thing irritatedly at her*

Miroku:  *reaches over and takes it*  It's true, Kagome-sama... his script was changed.  *covering his grin*

Inu Yasha:  Shippou................ *turns to look at him*

Shippou:  Aah...  *starts to run away*

Inu Yasha:  *grabs him by the tale, a huge tick mark on his head*  Kimi.........

Shippou:  *squeaks*

Kagome:  Inu Yasha, put him down... *sighs tiredly*  The rehearsal time is almost up, and I'm sure more than one of you want to do... other business.  So we'll finish the romance scenes the rehearsal after next.

Sango:  Why not next rehearsal?

Kagome:  Next rehearsal we'll finish this scene and then work on the death scene as well as the climax of the story.

Inu Yasha:  *giving Shippou's bump-covered head a last punch before dropping him*  Sure.  Can we go now?

Kagome:  Hai...

Inu Yasha:  Heh heh heh...  *grins wickedly at Kouga*

Kouga:  *glares back*  You're gonna get your ass kicked again, bakayaro.

Inu Yasha:  Like hell.  *dust-clouded battle ensues*  SANKONTETSUSOU!

Kouga:  You think _that_ will touch me?!  *sounds of a tornado-like wind are heard*

Inu Yasha:  Heh!

Sango:  We're going to need a new stage, aren't we?  *another explosion is heard*

Everyone:  *deep nod*

Kagome:  -.- =3

~End Chapter One~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*They are the only two left of Kouga's wolf pack.  I saw their names on a manga translation and stole them, but I'm not sure if they're correct... they never mention their names in the anime.

Short Japanese dictionary of terms  (only those that have not been covered before):

Gomen nasai ~ A polite version of "gomen" meaning "I'm sorry."

Tetsusaiga ~ Inu Yasha's sword O.o;  I hope everyone who's watched or read Inu Yasha knows this one...

Toutousai-'jii-san ~ Same concept as Kagome-'nee-san.  Toutousai is his name, 'jii is short for "ojii" which can be uncle or grandfather or a reference to an elderly male, -san is a polite suffix-like thing.

Kusou ohkami ~ Yes, it is in my small word bank of Japanese curse words, which you actually shouldn't say if you go to Japan.  Kusou means "shit" I suppose, though there's no direct translation.  "Ohkami" is wolf.  Basically, Inu Yasha is insulting him and the fact that he's a wolf.

Bakayaro ~ I suppose... a more insulting version of "baka"?  Baka means "idiot," usually, by the way.

Hanyou ~ Please tell me you know this one... half-demon, half-human.

Kimi ~ You, directly, I suppose.  In this sense it's a rather degrading form.

Kaede-ba-ba ~  Spelled different ways.  He's calling her an old hag, as the subtitles denote.

Kaede-'baa-chan ~ Same as Kagome-'nee-san.  Kaede is her name, 'baa is short for "obaa" which can be aunt or grandmother or elderly female, -chan is a familiarity sort of suffix.

Hontou ni ~ Really?

Arigatou ~  Thank you.

Kisama ~ Very degrading form of "you."  He hates her.  He could kill her right now if they would let him.  Can mean "bastard" or whatnot.

Usou ~ The most direct translation is, "That can't be."  (Arigatou gozaimasu, Purin-san!)  I used it semi-right... it was supposed to be something like, "No way."

Urusai ~ Shut up.

Youkai ~ Demon.

Baka ~ Idiot.

Onegai ~ Please.  Like, "Please just say it, Kouga-kun..."

Kukuku ~ Ebil fox laugh.  Yes, Shippou is a very naughty little youkai.

Chotto ~ Wait a second... he's sort of trying to get her to not "osuwari" him.  I suppose English-speaking people would say, "Wait wait wait!"

Sankontetsusou ~ Soul-shattering claws, Inu Yasha's attack with his claws that makes nice pretty yellow marks all over the screen and then a very dead youkai... sometimes.

^.^  To those who know me:  Yes, I know that "Soft butt" this is sooo overused... but really... I couldn't resist ^^;;;


	4. Chapter 1 Story Format

**Chapter 1: A Week Before Opening Night**

_Backdate: Written and meant to be posted October 2003._

I live! Sort of. ; _bow bow_ (Okay, for some reason is being stupid and not loading my faces and/or stars, so please bear with me.) I'm very very very very very very terribly sorry that I haven't updated in so long, but things have happened and I've been lazy. Eh heh heh... um... don't mob me? And never ever wish for things to happen, because even if in your heart you don't want it, the heavens will grant it to you. Just to spite you. Like moving -- never wish to move, because when something happens and you do, you'll regret it. And yet sometimes it's surprisingly refreshing to be away from the little things that annoy you so that the people can annoy you from further away... hmm...

Eh, randomness. But anyway, on to the real story! As if you're reading this anyway. But here is the story version of Chapter 1.

Forgotten disclaimer from the previous update: The soft butt thing? I didn't come up with that. It is reserved and probably copyrighted to a certain Zeke the Tory Steller at Scarborough Faire. I had just come back from listening to him tell his lovely version of Jomeo and Ruliet as he referred to it, and it was still bouncing around in my head. And besides, it made the story more interesting. It was not an original idea. _bows_ I'm sorry I didn't point that out earlier.

"What do you MEAN you can't come to the play!"

The sharp question rang through the wide theatre, echoing off walls and resounding deep into the darkness beyond the light of the stage. The stage that, at the moment, held a group of very fearing people watching as Toutousai calmly informed a flaming Kagome of his future absence. Truly, a flaming Kagome -- it was a surprise that in all those times that she'd been enveloped in that pillar of fire, her uniform had not burned to ashes. Inu Yasha was inconspicuously not present at the moment.

"I have to work," the old man said, looking completely calm in the face of the raging firestorm before him. "It's important. I have to fix a sword." Something in his tone suggested that he wasn't telling her everything.

"_What_ sword?" Kagome inquired after a moment, eyeing Toutousai suspiciously.

The man paused for a beat too long as he carefully considered the consequences of his answer. Certainly not the consequences on him, but on whom the sword belonged to. Or rather, the life of whom the sword belonged to. "...Tetsusaiga."

Instantly a deadly fire went up in the girl's eyes as she turned them to a curtain that hung in the corner. "_Inu Yasha..._" The intensity of her dark glare crumbled the curtain to a little black lump upon the floor, revealing the hanyou sitting behind it, his back turned to them so that his silver hair trailed upon the floor.

"_I...n...u... Y...a...s...h...a..."_

Back still to her, Inu Yasha swallowed with a fearing look upon his face. "Hai...?" he answered reluctantly.

"_Why_ is Toutousai-'jii-san missing the play to fix Tetsusaiga?"

He didn't respond, feeling that perhaps silence was the best way to prolong his life.

"You got into another fight, didn't you?" Kagome demanded of the boy's back. "Couldn't you have just concentrated on the play for once!" Her voice peaked at a sound that was close to a screech. She was barely containing her anger by forcing her voice not to crack. She couldn't afford to lose such an important actor now -- how would she be able to find a replacement in one week!

The hanyou interrupted her thoughts by instantly leaping up, whirling to face her with an equally angry look upon his face. "I had to!" he yelled in reply, fangs showing. "This play is such a damn waste of my time! It's boring and doesn't help us at all. And besides, that kusou ohkami was just _asking_--"

"Ohkami?" she interrupted, gazing steadily at him, eyebrows raised. "You got in a fight with Kouga-kun!"

Inu Yasha sweatdropped. "Oops..." Getting in a fight and breaking his sword was one thing. Getting in fight with that damn ohkami and breaking his sword was another. No, scratch the breaking his sword part... just getting in a fight with Kouga would cause him infinite pains, most involving a rosary and the word 'osuwari.'

"Bakayaro!" Kouga hissed from the side, sweatdropping as well. Maybe she wouldn't kill him... after all, she wouldn't kill her betrothed, would she? Never mind that she was _scary_ when she was angry...

"Why does Tetsusaiga need to be fixed?"

"It got cracked, okay!" Inu Yasha spat.

Kouga couldn't help himself. He snickered, adding, "And the _hanyou_ got his ass kicked."

"You're just lucky we were interrupted," the so indicated hanyou snarled back. "I still have my claws and I can still kick _your_ kusou ohkami--"

"Inu Yasha."

He froze.

"Osuwari."

And he thumped, face first, into the cold stage floor.

"And Kouga-kun."

"Hai...?"

Kagome shook her head to herself, thinking, _They all need rosaries..._ Outwardly, she asked flatly, "What happened?"

"Inu-koro here--"

"Oi, kimi!" Inu Yasha was glaring at the wolf youkai from his position, now sitting, on the floor. "Even as a hanyou I could--"

"Osuwari."

Instantly Inu Yasha's face was connected to the floor once more. "Why aren't you mad at _him_!" he demanded, voice muffled by the stone as a tick mark throbbed on his head.

"I am," she replied lightly in an almost bored manner. She had somehow found a different way to be angry -- a calmer way, perhaps. Or perhaps she was just tired of yelling at the moment. Either way, she was quieter and, despite it all, more intimidating this way.

Kouga, looking thoroughly surprised, immediately bowed before her on one knee, eyes wide as he gazed up at her. "Kagome," he began, voice toned to a rumbling smoothness, "I beg your forgiveness." He took her hand gently in his as he continued, "I am sorry for disrupting your play." The sincerity in his eyes and the gentleness in his touch made her look at him in surprise. Then she smiled brightly.

"I forgive you, Kouga-kun."

"OI!" Inu Yasha leapt up and pushed the two apart with an amazing force, half-grabbing the wolf demon by the article of clothing that covered his chest. "Get your dirty hands _off _her!" he snapped, eyes glinting.

"Hey, she's my woman!" Kouga retorted, fangs showing.

"Like hell she is!" The two glowered at each other, snarl for snarl and fang for fang.

"Inu Yasha." Kagome sighed again -- why did she, of all people, have to deal with these two idiots? -- and looked at Inu Yasha, who was trying not to look fearfully at her. "Kouga-kun."

"Hai...?"

"Please... could you stop fighting?" The girl shook her head tiredly. "Two weeks is all I ask. _Please_!" Why on earth, heaven, hell, and whatever place the two could fight on, was she begging them to do this?

The two glared at each other, sending sparks across the space between their noses. "Sure," Kouga growled as Inu Yasha spat one of his infamous 'Feh's.

"Inu Yasha." The new voice was raspy and old, interjected in a stern manner. They turned to look at its speaker, who stepped up the stairs to the stage with her wrinkled old hands held behind her back.

"Kaede-'ba-'ba!" Big amber eyes goggled at the woman.

"Still acting up, even when you're not fighting in the feudal era?" Kaede asked, settling her feet upon the firm floor of the stage that had withstood all those thumps.

"Kaede-'baa-chan!" Kagome exclaimed, smiling through her surprise. "Why are you here?"

With a nod at the girl, the miko replied, "I came to replace Toutousai. As you can see, he is no longer present." The girl looked around and saw no sign of the man or his cow.

"When did he leave...?" she asked herself. Shaking her head, sending black strands of hair flying across her shoulders, she turned back to Kaede. "You're really going to replace him?"

"Hai."

"Really?"

"Yes, I can do it. Unless you don't need my help...?"

Instantly Kagome waved her hands, a sweatdrop on the side of her head. "Iie, iie," she said quickly, indicating that she did need the help. "Arigatou."

"May we start, or shall I leave you to waste your time?" a cold voice asked, its tone holding about as much dry malice as it ever did. Narrow eyes watched them, their amber resonance accented by the silver bangs that brushed across them and the two stripes on either side of their owner's face. Sesshomaru barely even cocked an eyebrow as he awaited an answer.

"Let's start rehearsal!" Kagome called out to the others, reminded of why they were here exactly. "Today we'll be working on the romance scenes. Everyone, places please! We'll start at Act I, Scene 5 -- the first romance scene. Shippo-chan, take over as director today, please?"

The kitsune leapt off the stage and bounded into the middlemost seat of the first row. Waving a rolled script he'd claimed from somewhere, he replied loudly, "Hai! Okay, everyone, backstage!" He continued to wave the roll around as people scuttled around and eventually all ended up in their right places. Then, with a last twitch of the paper, he said, "Scene start!"

The curtain that had previously been dividing the stage between the front few feet and the actual presented half rose slowly. Once it had lifted a few feet, a few chairs and a large open space was revealed behind it, the shapes barely anything but black lumps in the dim light. Then, the stage lights flared and flooded the stage with light before it was toned down to create a party-like atmosphere. Now a multitude of people were seen on the stage, talking animatedly and looking and cheery. They milled about, taking no notice of the two youkai that stood front and center, in the spotlight, gazing around with wide eyes.

"This is so cool!" Ginta, one of Kouga's side men, said to the other wolf demon beside him. "Being in a play with Kouga!"

"And Kagome-'nee-san," Hakkaku added, looking equally enthralled.

Shippo glowered, sweatdropping. "Just say your lines," he told them, bushy tail twitching.

"But I'm not 'Servant 1,'" Ginta informed him, pointing at the script.

"Me neither." Hakkaku pointed as well.

Shippo's eyes went round and he squeaked, frantically looking around. "Where's 'Servant 1'! Who's supposed to be 'Servant 1'!"

As soon as he finished his words, a light wind began to stir in the large theater, beginning as a mild breeze and soon turning into a wild storm wind. The path of the furious air could be seen, creating a whirlwind-like eye in the center of the theater, above the audience seats. As those on stage held down their skirts, hair, or scripts, and Shippo clung desperately to a chair, something could be seen emerging from the floating cyclone. A large white feather descended and then swept over to float just above the rim of the stage. A woman in a kimono leapt gracefully off, snapping her fan. The feather disappeared in a poof, shrinking to the size of a forest bird's feather. She caught it easily and tucked it back into her hair as she landed in a crouched position, head down and arm out.

"Yo."

Ginta and Hakkaku backed up, eyes huge as they looked upon the woman that was standing and brushing herself off. Kouga, who was peering out from backstage, began to growl, anger flushing across his features. "Kisama..."

Naraku, was looking out from the other side with the other half of the cast, raised a delicate eyebrow. His long, black, wavy hair fanned behind him and he inquired, "Kagura. Why are you here? Disobeying me again?"

"Iie," she replied, containing her distaste for the man as she dipped a barely distinguishable bow that looked more like a nod. "I am 'Servant 1.'"

The two wolves had backed up to the curtain next to Kouga. "U-usou..." they hissed, white with fear at the woman who'd slayed so many of their tribesmen.

"Kagome!" Kouga whipped his head around to look at the girl, eyes demanding an explanation. She smiled, sweatdropping.

"Gomen ne, Kouga-kun... but... she was the only one I could think of that was old enough and hadn't well... been killed."

"So, shall we begin?" Kagura asked, raising her eyebrows in suggestion, almost daring them to demand her ejection from the play.

"H-hai," Shippo squeaked, clambering back onto his chair. "Scene start!"


	5. Chapter 2 Script Format

**Chapter 2: The Night Before**

E...tou...

Hisashiburi, ne, minna-san... ;;;

Um... due to many circumstances that I suppose I'd rather not delve into, I haven't posted in a very long time... (as you probably noticed). I'm sorry for making you all wait so long, and for those of you that, after three years, are still checking this, thank you for your immense patience and... patronage? Or whatever word means patronage, but not including money ;

(For some reason, is being incredibly dumb, and neither my faces nor my stars will show up, so... in place of stars, there will be just italics for... um... action-y things... and in the place of faces will either be strange grammatical errors or too many spaces...)

I suppose, my writing style has changed these past few years and I'm not sure I can be nearly as funny or silly as I was before... and, actually, I'm not sure I will keep writing this. Etou, Torchie just finished her senior year of high school, and is working on two books with a friend and actually, I've taken up clothing design/making ; And summer will be filled with travel, and following that college xx _is afraid_ But anyway... so... I'm not sure I'll have time to write this... Hai, I know it's unfair to update after so many years and then say I might not update ever again +;; Sumimasen.

But if anyone would care to know, Torchie will be going to Japan, Taiwan, and then the U.K. this summer. It should be fun, no? Um... yes... so...

Not that anyone cares, I'm sure that you're all wondering if there's actually a real chapter in all this XD;

I actually wrote this chapter a while ago, so it will flow with the other ones But before that (assuming any of you still read this .;)...

Chelsea Clevenger-san ;; Haha, it is rather funny to see InuYasha and Miroku get their butts kicked, isn't it? Um... I don't suppose this qualifies anywhere around 'soon'... please forgive me?

psychobunny410-san Thanks for reviewing again ; Mm, I haven't used shimatta, have I? o.o; I'm not sure if they ever used it in the anime (at least, not anymore, I haven't watched it in years)... but thank you for the reminder/hint

Kagome look-alike-san Thank you oo

Inu-girl-san ;; Oh my. I hope you didn't hurt yourself laughing so much. Oh, I suppose I had forgotten to put this on that chapter, but the soft butt thing belongs entirely to someone else; yes, it was stolen and Torchie is a very bad author but, anou sa, someone once said that authors rarely come up with original ideas, they just steal from each other... so... (that's a terrible excuse, still . ;...) Anyway, you should go visit Zeke the Tory Steller if there's ever a Renaissance Festival in the area... as long as you don't mind a bit of vulgar language. .; But I'm very glad I was able to make you smile so widely! I hope you keep smiling so widely, ne? Mm... food n.n _nibbles_

Purin-chan (but I know you don't read this anymore) o.o; There, a disclaimer. I neglected to put it in earlier. Urasai. And talk to Rurouni Star-san, if you even still do, and ask her about the manga-fication of it. I can draw just fine, but I can't manga-fy worth crap, you know.

GFireA-san ;; I'm terribly sorry... I didn't exactly hurry up, did I . ; Sumimasen! But here it is, and if you read it now, I'm honored by your patience.

OfficiallyObsessedwithPyro-san Sumimasen, this isn't soon at all/).(\ Please forgive me and... um, enjoy? Hopefully you didn't wait too long for this... hopefully you gave up on me like any sane person ;;; But if you didn't, I'd be very honored to hear from you again!

Sanaria-san Hai, it has been quite a while. Too long, no? . ; Thank you for your comment, you reminded me that I had still left this hanging! .; You sparked my remembrance of... um... updating. ;;

Shadow36-san Thank you so much for reviewing! Mm, they are quite funny, aren't they? ;

_Scene: For once, rehearsal may start on time. Everyone is a bit nervous, and the air is stale. The cast stands on stage, waiting for someone._

Shippo: Where is InuYasha? _looking around from Miroku's shoulder_

Miroku: I don't know, but if he doesn't get here soon... Kagome-sama...

Sango: _looks at Miroku and Shippo_ o.o;;

Miroku: _looks at Sango and Shippo_ oo;

Shippo: _looks at Sango and_ _Miroku_ O.o;;;

_The side door creaks open and InuYasha is seen trying to sneak in._

Sesshomaru: InuYasha.

InuYasha: _freezes_ What!

Sesshomaru: Your human stalls the rehearsal for you, wasting our time.

InuYasha: Feh. Like you have more important things to do!

Sesshomaru: ...

Rin: Actually, Sesshomaru doesn--

Sesshomaru: Rin.

Rin: Hai, Sesshomaru-sama?

Sesshomaru: You shall be silent.

Rin: ...Hai, Sesshomaru-sama.

Kagome: InuYasha.

InuYasha: o.o...

Kagome: _walking calmly over until she is but a few inches from him as everyone else backs away_

InuYasha: _pulls back slightly_ Eh...

Kagome: _smiles very, very sweetly despite the growing tick mark on her forehead _ InuYasha... WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! It's the night before opening night! We still have so much to rehearse, and we're late starting now!

InuYasha: Yeah, whatever.

Kagome: Osuwari!

InuYasha: _thump _ What the hell!

Kagome: Where were you!

InuYasha: _looks away_ Busy.

Miroku: I would suggest you tell her before--

Kagome: Where... were... you...! _stops to look at him _ Open your mouth.

InuYasha: Nani!

Kagome: _reaches up to pry his mouth open _ Open your mouth! _finally succeeds for a brief moment _ Oh, so that's where you were...

InuYasha: --; Yeah, that's where I was.

Sango: _looking curious along with everyone_ _else_ What, Kagome-chan?

Kagome: _points to his mouth_ Getting his fang pulled for Tetsusaiga.

Shippo: I hope it's not really heavy like last time, or you can't fight again...

Naraku: What was that...?

Miroku: Shippo!

Shippo: .; Meep...

InuYasha: Let's just get this damn rehearsal started, okay!

Kagome: Hai, hai. Minna, Act II, Scene 6!

_The members of the cast scurry to their places._

Kagome: Rin-chan, will you be director?

Rin: Hai, Kagome-'nee-san! _claps hands._ Scene, start!

_The curtains open and the lights brighten to reveal a chair and a table. InuYasha walks in with Kaede to stand in the center of the stage._

Kaede: So smile the heavens upon this holy act that after hours with sorrow chide us not.

InuYasha: Amen, a-- Wait, what holy act!

Kaede: The one that is about to be acted out.

InuYasha: ...?

Kaede: You and Kagome, or rather, Romeo and Juliet, must do two things to consummate your love.

InuYasha???

Kaede: This is the first thing you must do.

InuYasha: What is this first thing!

Kaede: You must get married.

InuYasha: _blinks in confusion for a few moments as it registers._ **MARRIED**!

Kaede: o.o Yes.

InuYasha: What the hell! What kind of idiot was this Sho... She... Shi... damn writer, anyway!

Miroku: A pervert, by all accounts. After all, they were so **young**... What kind of man was Shakespeare...? What kind of life did he lead? _philosophical look._

Sango: ¬ ¬ Houshi-sama...

Miroku: Hai, Sango? Have you an answer for me?

Sango: -.-# whaps him

Kagome: _sigh. _ Miroku-sama, do you have to do that al the time?

Rin: Scene, go...

Kaede: Say your line, InuYasha, so we can go on.

InuYasha: -.-; _mutters line._

_They say their lines until Kagome enters. They finish the scene._

Kagome: Okay, now... Act III, Scene 5.

Rin: Act III, Scene 5! _waits for everyone to move. _ Scene start!

_Lights brighten to reveal Kagome and InuYasha standing center stage, a bit to the side._

Kagome: Wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day... _continues line._

Miroku: _whispering from behind curtain, head peering out. _ Nice going, InuYasha. I'd gladly do this scene for you.

InuYasha: What?

Miroku: This scene... very good. _lecherous smile._

Kagome: What...?

Miroku: Don't you know what this scene is about?

Kagome: They are talking before Romeo must leave...

Miroku: In Juliet's bedroom.

Kagome: ...?

Kaede: This is the second act of consummating your love and marriage. _points to script._ I read the footnotes... I'm surprised you did not.

InuYasha: Second act? _both he and Kagome look confused._

Kaede: How do you think Miroku understood?

Miroku: -.-; I don't always think like that...

Kagome: O.o; _starting to understand_. Could you... clarify... that...?

Sesshomaru: Rin. Do not listen.

Rin: _covers ears. _ Hai, Sesshomaru-sama... demo...

Sesshomaru: Do not listen.

Rin: Hai...

Kaede: The second point of consummation is when they become one.

InuYasha: ...

Kaede: They lose their virginity. This is the morning directly after.

Kagome: O.O You mean they... we...!

Miroku: _winks. _ Yep.

Kagome: How could I not have seen this part!

InuYasha: Why didn't you see this part before you chose this damn play!

Kagome: I missed school so much is why!

InuYasha: So!

Kagome: I was running around, helping you get the Shikon no Tama back together! It's not my fault!

InuYasha: It damn well is your fault!

Kagome: Well, if you hadn't--

Kouga: I refuse to let you touch my woman! You can't even treat her correctly, inukoro!

InuYasha: What the hell do you mean! She's **my**Shikon detector!

Kagome: I'm your **WHAT**!

Miroku: o.O Bad choice of words...

Kagome: I am NOT **your** woman _glares at Kouga._ or **your**'Shikon detector'! Is that all I'm worth to you two! Maybe we just shouldn't do this play! No, this is my play... after this, I **refuse**to go back to the feudal era! After this, I am permanently parting ways with you two!

Sango: Kagome-chan!

Miroku: Kagome-sama!

Shippo: Noooo, Kagome... InuYasha can go on his own, but we need you! TT It's so sad without you!

InuYasha: You can't stay here! You have to help!

Kagome: I don't have to help you do anything!

Kouga: Kagome--

Kagome: Not now, Kouga-kun! I was fine with you calling me your woman every once and a while, but don't call me that anymore! I am me! I am**not**Kikyo's replacement, or your woman, or a miko, or a Shikon detector! I am me! I am just a schoolgirl... I'm... I'm only in high school... _starts to cry._

Kouga: Kagome...

InuYasha: O-oi... oi, Kagome... don't cry...

Kagome: Don't you ever think that I'd rather be with my family and my friends? Am I... am I really just...

InuYasha: Oi... look... sorry, okay? I don't think you're just a Shikon detector, all right?

Shippo: Really... he goes insane when you're not there.

Sango: He's quiet and doesn't pick any fights.

Miroku: He goes to the well all the time.

InuYasha: . Kimi...

Kagome: Really...?

InuYasha: _looks away. _ Feh.

Kagome: InuYasha... _stands up slowly, looking starry-eyed. _ InuYasha... Osuwari.

InuYasha: _thump._ What the hell was that for!

Kagome: Why didn't you tell me before! You just let me think I was a replacement! And--

Sesshomaru: It is late, and you have yet to rehearse a few scenes. You may argue later.

Kagome: _sighs_. Hai, hai... gomen ne, minna... Rin-chan?

Rin: . Is Kagome-'nee-san better?

Kagome: Hai.

Rin: Okay Scene start

_They run through their lines and finish rehearsal without many other interruptions. They clean up and then gather by Kagome._

Kagome: Okay, the opening night is tomorrow at 6:00 p.m. We will have another rehearsal tomorrow morning at nine -- it'll be just a run through. We also have the set, props, and costumes finished, so tomorrow morning, get your costumes and try them on. Miroku-sama, Kouga-kun, and InuYasha have agreed to set up, so--

InuYasha: I never--

Kagome: _death glare_. **So**we'll have that ready. Oyasumi, minna! Sleep well, and be here on time!

Etou It's kind of like "anou" or the English "um."

Hisashiburi Long time no see, or something along those lines ;

Minna Everyone, and the '-san' is for politeness.

Torchie That's me! ; Torchie sometimes uses third person... no idea why, but she got into the habit of doing so... Japanese people often refer to themselves and others by name or title rather than with 'you' or 'me,' so... maybe I picked it up from them ;

Hai Yes.

Sumimasen Excuse me, or in this case, I'm sorry. Really profusely sorry ;;

Nani What

Houshi Essentially, a monk. Sango calls Miroku 'Houshi-sama.'

Demo But, in this case, something like, "Okay, but..."

Shikon no Tama ; You probably already know this; it's that ball thing they broke and have to find all the pieces of.

Inukoro What Kouga refers to InuYasha as... the direct translation, I think, is 'puppy,' but in this case he means 'dog crap' or 'mutt' o.o;

Miko Priestess.

Oi Um... I guess, it's kind of like, "Hey"?

Kimi It means 'you,' but not necessarily in the most polite way... in this case, definitely not in a polite way ;

Gomen (ne) I'm sorry, in the most casual form.

Oyasumi Good night, in the casual form ;


End file.
